Christmas – it’s the most wonderful time of the year – but not for everybody.
Often, Christmas can be a difficult time for older people, as they face loneliness, difficulty getting around and feeling sidelined. Here are some things you can do to help an older friend or relative through the Christmas season.
Pre-Christmas
Visit or call
The run-up to Christmas is always busy, hectic and frantic – but take a moment to check in, call or visit your elderly friend, relative or neighbour. Let them know they’re not forgotten, and if you choose, issue an invitation to spend Christmas Day with you.
Help decorate
Older people often find it hard to decorate the house, and if they’re living alone, they may not feel it’s worth the bother. But Christmas decorations can provide a great deal of cheer and joy, and can help them feel more attuned to the festive spirit. Offer to help your older loved one decorate their house, or set up a Christmas tree or some lights, and watch their face light up. Help them display their Christmas cards, and offer to help them write and send cards to friends and family members. Also reassure them that you’ll help them remove the decorations and clear up the mess once Christmas is over.
Take them shopping
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It can be hard to get out and about if you’re frail, ill or have mobility issues, and navigating the Christmas crowds can be quite overwhelming for older people even if they are mobile and able to shop. Offer to take them to the shops and help them with their Christmas shopping – it will make it much easier to have you to navigate traffic, parking and busy shopping centres for them, and you can stop for a coffee if they need a break.
Attend an event
There are many community Christmas events happening, and again, it can be hard for older people to get to them. Encourage your elderly friend or loved one to get out and attend an event such as a carol concert, church service or lights show, and offer to drive them there and attend with them.
Bake or cook some Christmas treats
Cooking may become challenging as people get older, and they often may not bother to make themselves special Christmas treats. Take the chance to pop over and help them cook a special Christmas recipe that they can enjoy eating during the holiday season.
Christmas Day
If you’ve invited an older person to attend your Christmas Day celebrations, here’s a few things to keep in mind.
Make it accessible
Plan your Christmas Day program and ensure your older loved one is able to access it easily. If they have mobility issues or mobility aids, plan how you will accommodate that, and make sure your venue is suitable. If your home won’t work for those needing disabled access, consider moving your celebration to a park or venue with disabled access. Also consider how far your guest will have to travel, and offer to pick them up or transport them if travel is going to be difficult.
Also prevent your older guest from feeling like an onlooker all day by providing some quieter and more sedentary activities that they can participate in. It’s no fun having to just watch other family members enjoying fun and physical activities all day, so make sure your older relative or friend feels included and part of the celebration.
Manage the noise levels
High levels of noise can quickly become overwhelming for older people. Loud music, the TV or video games, lots of talking and chatter, and children playing can be distracting and unpleasant for older people, and may leave them unable to fully engage in conversations. Be aware of the noise level, and try not to have too many things going on at once. Quiet background noise creates a better environment for conversations. However, if loud noise and noisy games and activities can’t be avoided, offer a quiet space for your guest to retreat to for a while if they prefer.
Be aware of light
Similarly, bright and flashing lights can also cause issues for older people, particularly those with eyesight issues or light sensitivities. If you have twinkling or flashing light on the tree or around the house, don’t leave them on all day, or turn them onto a solid setting.
Also be aware of lighting needs of your older guest. Do they need the lights to be dimmed to give their eyes a break? Or do they need extra light in order to see properly to play a game or read something? Check in with them to ensure they feel comfortable and are able to participate in the Christmas festivities as much as possible without stress or discomfort.
Allow time to rest
Being on the go amongst a lot of noise, activity and excitement can be exhausting for older people (and younger ones as well!). Provide space and time for your older loved one to take a break from all the activity and socialising, and allow them to disconnect and rest for awhile in another room or quiet space. Make sure children don’t disturb them while they’re resting, and continue to check in with them throughout the day to ensure they’re not becoming exhausted and overwhelmed.
Christmas in aged care
If your loved one is in aged care, you can still include them in your Christmas celebrations. Offer to bring them to your home for Christmas, or if they can’t leave their aged care home, make time to go to them for part of the day. If distance makes a visit impossible, schedule a phone call or virtual visit via FaceTime, Zoom or Skype, so that you can brighten their day and let them know you’re thinking of them, even if you can’t be with them.
So, use these tips to make your older guests feel loved and included this Christmas, and really make it a celebration to remember – for everyone.
